What Child is This?

Last week, dear Curmudgeons, I ranted about the strange mythology by which the celebration of the birth of Christ—a Jewish event that occurred in a Jewish family in a Jewish land, as predicted (some believe) by the Jewish scriptures—has come to be considered a completely non-Jewish event. This week, the mystery continues in the form of this collection of greeting cards allegedly marking the blessed day, albeit with some pretty illogical imagery.

Who's the blond kid with the halo? That baby is definitely not Jewish.

And where would he have scored those stylish threads? Wait...is that a onesie?

Also, who's the family from Nebraska and why are they dressed as Israelites?

I seem to remember reading about shepherds, kings, and swaddling clothes.

I don't recall anything about a playdate with a gang of Norwegian tots.

And speaking of Bible verses I must have missed...

What in the holy historical rewrite is going on here?

And here, at last, is where I have to simply throw my hands in the air and give up:

Until next year...